Acceptable Drunken Behavior

from Synchophrenagoraphobicexpialatrocious by Alex Audette

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about

The embarrassment you feel after a boozy slip of the tongue

lyrics

You tip the bottle, and the sloppiness starts
Telling us to pull your finger, so you can fart
Polite restraint has died a casual death
Between the puffs on your cigarette

Refrain:
A little reckless, a little feckless,
Slightly dirty, somewhat flirty
deviation, more hydration
speak your mind with cold calculation

your head would look good, on a small key fob
boss is a dick, I need another job
the government, should give out hand jobs for free
under the jury-duty Christmas tree

Refrain:

Bridge: (in Sean Connery accent)
Acceptable, drunken behavior,
I’m acting as your bona-fide savior,
My name is Bond, first name is James
Sophistication’s, not the name of my game
Miss Moneypenny I’ll give you a squeeze
So hurry up and get up off of your knees
There’s nothing wrong with being just a bit tipsy
When your getting in the sack with some gypsies

Just take a Ro-Fo of a brief respite
Tell jour-na-lists they look like trans-ves-tites
Your mother hammered in what manners were for
Martinis show you how to even the score

R:

If farts were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard
Booze makes me, a tongue twisting wizard
The lips are loosened, with copious sauce
Scorch your ears and leave you at a loss

credits

from Synchophrenagoraphobicexpialatrocious, released April 29, 2020

license

all rights reserved

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about

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Alex Audette Guelph, Ontario

Alex Audette is an acupuncturist with a few points to make via music.

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